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Writer's pictureShanae Lavelle

Pond Hopping Sept. 4th and 5th, 2020

Updated: Apr 15, 2023

This is going to be a weird one, use caution before continuing to read. Trigger warning for death/suicide.


I went out to Swan Falls again on Sept. 4th. I wanted to go down into the canyon and so I did. I didn't see any great places to park, nothing really felt right. I felt anxious because I had no cell phone service down there and something just felt odd. It was weird that one guy was just sitting in his pickup when it was so blazingly hot outside. When I got to the end of the road, about ten minutes later, I turned around to come back. Suddenly, I see two young men walking towards me trying to wave me down, and for some reason my brain is screaming to me that there is a gun. I continued forward super slowly and these young men are obviously very distressed and I wasn't sure what else. Where they high?


As the first one came around to my window, I could see it now. Tears. Panic. Pain. He told me that he and his friend needed help, their other friend had just shot himself and they needed someone to call the police and help them by driving to the top of the canyon. I asked a few questions, the short version is simply that there was no way his friend was alive and needed the paramedics. As I sped up the road faster than I probably should have, I called 911 and waited. Responders came, eventually they sent the two young men up there with me. They had crammed themselves, their dogs and their now deceased friend's dogs into their little sedan. It was so hot, of course they let the dogs out and we waited together.


I asked them how they were doing, and for a while I let them say what they needed to. Cry. I asked them if they wanted hugs, they said yes. I hugged them, we were all very sweaty and crying together. It was kind of beautiful, really. They told me the story of their friend, how the three of them grew up together coming out to Swan Falls and they wanted to do one last trip because one of them was leaving for Seattle or Portland for the Marines the next day. They said they were 23. They were fishing with their friend. He had just bought a house and a bunch of land out in Kuna where they grew up. Their friend had a fiancé, she owned a hair salon too. All of a sudden, he told them that he needed to go and left them to fish. He went to his truck, and was gone for about 10 minutes. Then he took his own life with a shotgun in the front seat. I realized I saw him, sitting alone in his truck on my way down the canyon. When the young men heard the sound of the shotgun, naturally they ran up to check on him from the river. I won't describe the details, but this is how they knew there was no chance that he was alive. What they saw I can only imagine will haunt and traumatize these poor young men for the rest of their lives. As we waited for the police, ambulance, etc. to do their many difficult jobs with the scene it was so hot. Sweaty, tear-stained, and heartbroken the young men greeted their families at the top of the hill.




Sept. 5th, 2020 I wanted to take advantage of the lovely weather, but after what happened the day before, I hardly made an effort. I went to what I used to call "my happy place" back when I used to do oil plein air paintings. Kathryn Albertson Park in Boise, lovely ponds and foliage and wildlife. I produced a small but not very good painting, but ultimately it gave me a chance to reflect.


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