Blowing Up and Crossing Over. March 6, 2026.

I have been house/cat sitting for a friend for the last two weeks while she went out of town. Four cats total: two affectionate and social, one blind and rambo (rambunctious), and a big sweet scaredy. It took about five days before big sweet scaredy came out from under a blanket on the foot of the bed. Wonderful cats, very sweet. This meant though, that I needed to balance getting time with my two kitties 30 minutes away. Relationships with pets are still important, they like having hoomans around and also, food. This meant I did a lot of driving, listening to audiobooks, and binge watching some TV. I listened to Fern Brady's Strong Female Character, David Sedaris's Calypso and watched The Pitt.

Fern Brady is a comedian from Scotland who was diagnosed later in life with autism. Strong Female Character is one part autobiographical and one part educational. She explores how autism in women can present and be misunderstood by healthcare providers. For a variety of personal reasons, this resonated with me as I have numerous friends and family who fit into the neuro-spicy category. The more I learn, the more I feel like I have let some of those folks down by not understanding their needs, but I am so grateful to still be in many of their lives.

Calypso is a collection of essays, many of which are autobiographical and humorous taking time to describe the vibes of a situation he's experienced. In these stories, he taps into feelings anyone could have had. Like the feeling when you find out neighbors have been secretly feeding your cat and giving it another name, like Calypso. He writes about family, death, and relationships as well. In one essay, he writes about the intense unique feeling when the deceased visit the living in their dreams and how it sticks with you hours after waking.

I swear none of this was planned, but then I started to watch The Pitt, a show focused on healthcare providers in an emergency room in Pittsburgh, PA. Which is to say it's American healthcare so it's steeped in timely and relevant topics, including autism, resilience, trauma, loss, and community.

I mention these different works and their relevance because during the last few weeks, two very good friends had to make some some end-of-life decision making for their older kitties. Most pet owners can probably relate to the difficulty of not only saying goodbye to their furry family members, but also the agony that can accompany the choice of when to say goodbye. One of my friends (who I will call Light) has some neuro-spicy qualities and a deep attachment to her sweet kitty. One of the difficult decisions Light agonized about was limiting any suffering without robbing her kitty of comfortable remaining time. This is often where the intersection leads pet owners, myself included. This isn't unique to pets, but to people, and relationships. Light ultimately said goodbye to her sweet gray angel yesterday morning.

Along those same lines, some relationships reach an end-of-life stage and choices are made. Navigating those kinds of situations throughout one's life can have similar effects to death, because let's face it--loss is still loss.

The Pitt explores the Hawaiian peace-making practice of Ho’oponopono. In short, it's the idea of expressing love, thanks, and forgiveness. In the show, it's demonstrated in an end-of-life scene with two older adult children saying goodbye to their unresponsive father as he passes. It's relevant for all kinds of situations where people are experiencing loss, change, and/or coping with relationships difficulties. This includes the relationship we have with our pets, friends, family, bosses, neighbors, and/or a random driver who almost hits you when you're in the crosswalk.

Mourning looks and feels different for each situation and each individual, yet the experience is not unique. It's something we all have wrestled with in some form or another. Change is not easy and it's rarely crisp, clean, and without pain. Moving from one identity, routine, and/or lifestyle to another is challenging and difficult.

Sometimes I have blown up my life a little bit. This can give me a chance rebuild and get to the next, hopefully better parts of life. We can be grateful for what was. We can forgive those who let us down, didn't meet our unspoken or spoken expectations. We of course means I in this case, but I invite you to think about something in your life that may need a little extra ignition--while you still can.