What motivates you to put yourself out there? I have wrestled with this thought most of my life and I had a sudden realization that for me a great motivator is the prospect of travel! I will generally only apply for opportunities that are in places I want to explore or understand better, and to and enjoy the community of said place.
I have registered for 2024's Watercolor Carson City, which is appropriate considering this all starts with Carson City, NV. Back in 2021, I was trying to really motivate myself to take plein air seriously and I found this place to be enchanting. It was a drivable distance and Google Maps let me peek around the downtown and I just fell in love with it. For more on my relationship with this place you can read about it here, here, and here. It is through this process I realized I never made a blog post about my 2023 trip, only a few instagram posts. Plein air at the Governor's Mansion. Plein air in the middle of nowhere--but there's a cool tree.
Because Carson City 2023 happened about 9 months ago, I won't bore anyone with the details because the time has passed. What I'd like folks to know is that I have had a love affair with a particular bar there which was the subject matter of the juried watercolor painting for the competition. Old Globe Saloon with it's neon pink sign and it's historic label caught my eye before my first visit. I visited it the first time in 2021 with high hopes. I was entirely ignored, it took 10 minutes to get served a drink at the bar when only one other patron was present. The bartender served me in silence. I left, disappointed. I took some photos thinking maybe next year. In 2022, I returned to similar results--lackluster. Again, I took photos. This time, with a much more lively crowd. For 2023, I captured the moments in this piece:
I named it Old Globe, New Notification. I took an honorable mention award for it at Watercolor Carson City in 2023. The man in the foreground on his phone really resonated with me after I walked out of that bar for the second time, finally understanding that my expectations were the problem. It reminded me of of my past mistakes as a young person. The person who would keep trying to get a crush to like me back time and time again. I decided to not return to the bar, I took my prize ribbon and won't return. Essentially breaking off my imagined relationship with a place I thought would be cool but just wasn't into me. Thank the stars for getting old and getting some fucking self-respect.
Another opportunity is for a juried show in Cedarburg, WI a small town just north of Milwaukee. The gallery is an historic house that has been converted into a wonderful space for the public and it's an event center. This cute little town has beautiful scenery, a little bit of a touristy vibe coupled with the town in Gilmore Girls. It's such a point of pride the folks there talk about it in their shops and on the streets. I have only shown there once before and won no awards, but was lucky to make the cut in 2022. Here's hoping for 2024.
The biggest open call I applied for is in Silver City, NM. It's another welcoming location that my bestie found as a bastion for starting over a few years back. She rented the cutest little duplex and I helped her move some of her things. We explored the local art scene there (which is incredible) and the Gila Mountains. One of my favorite memories in part because bestie was there, but this community was magically alive and vibrant with older adults celebrating each other mid-pandemic and finding ways to connect. I don't expect to get this opportunity, it's a very important residency that even pays. It's likely out of my league, but I tried anyway!
The location of these opportunities motivates me to do the hard stuff, the part where I am supposed to put myself out there and compete with others for a chance to have my work seen and possibly lead to more chances to do more artistry. Turns out if I don't know the place well or have a good vibe about it, I am less inclined to do the extra work for myself.
I did some real soul-searching and settled with accepting that my boring artwork is partially the result of not taking risks in my adult life. I keep doing art, but I have yet to fully commit because I am too scared of being poor and impacting my hubby negatively by living like a hippie. Poverty trauma, anyone?! I have learned that while this holds me back, it's the path I chose and I haven't given up on art, even if others out there have provided feedback that wasn't encouraging. Plenty of other people have been very encouraging! Even when I was less self-aware, a jerk, and hard for others to work with--I had important people to remind me to not give up but be better. To go places that are safe for people like me to explore and connect with the environment and community of special places out there. Thanks to you, if you're reading this you're helping me keep this silly little dream alive.